domingo 8 de noviembre de 2009

Pensamientos


Hay tantas cosas aconteciendo en estos momentos que seria un hit si pudiera traducirlas a poesia, palabras, pero no puedo.
Tantas lagrimas que he derramado a lo largo de estas semanas que me es imposible llorar mas, ahora solo me siento en mi soledad a pensar en las cosas que han pasado y en que he hecho yo para merecer todo esto.

Me han premiado con saber que la persona que mas amo en el mundo me dejo, me dejo por que es incapaz de decir lo que realmente siente, me dejo por que es incapaz de tomar una decision definitiva, quiero odiarlo con todo mi ser pero no puedo, de tan solo pensarlo se me va el aliento y me duele el pecho.
Si puediera regresar al pasado y aconsejarme dejarlo antes de amarlo tanto lo hubiera hecho, no entiendo, como puedes prometerme el mundo y despues dejarme como si nada, como puedes pedir tiempo para pensar si de veras me amas?
Como puedes repetir cosas que dije hace tiempo que te lastimaron?
No entiendo como puede no importarte lo que estoy sintiendo.
Me odio por amarte, me odio por haber llegado a rogarte, me odio por que por mas que quiero no puedo odiarte.
Como puedo amar a quien no me ama?
Como puedo amar a quien me trata como si fuera nada?
Si tuviera la valentia suficiente te dejara.

lunes 5 de octubre de 2009

Her...Me...Time


I send her a message...
Here i sat waiting for her to reply...
What if i wanted to die?
What if my life depended on that reply?
Does she care enough?
I sat there and stared at the phone...
I wonder what could took her so long...
Maybe im not that important...
Maybe she doesn't care anymore...
Distance changes everything...
Distance changed her.

viernes 18 de septiembre de 2009

Short suicide story.



I looked at her...
She was tired and sad...
Nothing i said made her change her mind, she was determined to finish her life...
She ran into the bathroom and lock the door...
She screamed how no one could ever understand what she was going through, how she was alone in the world...
She looked into the mirror and cry as to what she saw...
Make up smeared, hair a mess...
She was lonely and depressed...
I try knocking on the door, praying for her not to do it...
Minutes went by and then i heard the door opened...
She was there, behind her a red trace, her eyes went black and then i realize...that was the end of her life...
And THATS how i committed suicide.

domingo 23 de agosto de 2009

Taxi! past please


I wanna go back to the past...
Grab it so hard it becomes my now...
A past/present where i dont cry myself to sleep...
A place where she isnt the one in charge of me...
Somewhere i just have to pick up the phone and she will be there...
I dont like my present, and my future is looking even worst...
I miss what i was, i hate what ive become...
Nothing i do can change this...
Nothing i say will change her...
I keep going back for more, i know that in the end, this will finish as i dreamed...
Me in a coffin and u drinking away ur pain.

jueves 2 de julio de 2009

07/02/2009...


This words arent easy for me to say...
I thought that i couldnt live without u, that i would probably be miserable and blue for the rest of my life if i ever let u go...
I am miserable...
I am blue...
Ive been ever since in my heart this that we had died...
I feel lost...
Insecure...
Alone...
U hurt me...
Pushed me away when i needed u the most...
U made blind eyes to what was going on in my insides...
Im crushed...
Now in all alone...

domingo 14 de junio de 2009

In the middle of a crying river


Im just so sad, i cry in the dark, cry myself to sleep every night...
Sometimes i pray god and beg him to take me away from here...
Im so sick of feeling like this, all this pain bottled up inside...
Sometimes i think im gonna blow up and die...
I lie to cover up my feelings, my thoughts, sometimes i just ask for excuse and cry behind closed doors...
Im sinking in depression, swimming in a pool of pain and lies, using a perfect little mask saying im alright...
This is my reality, im so fucking sad, all i wanna do is cry...
Cry for days, weeks, months...maybe a whole year.
All i wanna do is, disappear.

viernes 12 de junio de 2009

I Am Not Dead

I was channel surfing and heard this in a movie, fell in love with it...here it is.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep...
I am a thousand winds that blow...
I am the diamond glints on snow...
I am the sunlight on ripened grain...
I am the gentle autumn's rain...

When you awaken in the morning's hush...
I am the swift uplifting rush of soaring birds in circled flight...
I am the star that shines at night...

Do not stand at my grave and cry...

I am not there, I did not die...

viernes 22 de mayo de 2009

The End


Look at me…

Look at what uve done…

Do u recognize the pieces in the floor?

Do u see that pool of blood?

That’s me…

That’s what uve done to me…

U broke my heart; lead me to commit suicide…

That much I loved u…

I was I could take back the time, wish I’ve never met u…

Come to look at it, I can’t see the good side of us being together…

U humiliated me so much…

I wanted to talk, I wanted u to be there, I needed u…

I kept looking around; searching for ur face…u weren’t there.

I’m alone, sad, flirting with death…

So sick of being ur second pick, u never took me seriously…

I’m not blind anymore, I can see the real u, and it’s not pretty.

Cut...




Cut once…

Feel the pain as it comes out.

Cut twice…

Get the teary eyes

Cut thrice…

Ull know ur really ready to cry

Cut forth…

U get hypnotized by the blood flowing…

Everytime u get another sad memory, something else that makes u wanna cut some more, drops and drops of blood coming down ur arms, u keep staring while u cry, it itches but u don’t care…u wanna do it, again again again.

lunes 4 de mayo de 2009

What about me?


Put up a smile...
Sit back down...
Nothing is wrong, just plane, the same...
We play to be ok...
We play to be happy and sane...
I fight myself not to let the tears fall, im sick of this charade...
Sick of pretending im ok...
Ur so blind...
Pretending u love me, when u cant even stand me...
I play good girl...
Smile and sit still, while u trash everything i am...
I dont know what im doing anymore, but i know this much...
This doesnt feel good anymore...
This doesnt bring me happiness...
I maybe want off.

"Everything I'm Not"


This is a song i dedicate to someone that refuses to love me as i am, i cant be "normal" im just me...

Oh no
Don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you where something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody
Telling me where I should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell how to live their life
Cause your so perfect
And no one measures up
Yeah all by yourself
You're all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't u get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
Cause this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

sábado 25 de abril de 2009


Vi esta pelicula en el 2002, la verdad me marco, la relacion que tienen Diego Luna y Gael Garcia, genial. Excelente pelicula.


Manifiesto de los charolastras

A continuación se presenta el listado del código de honor que proponen los protagonistas:

1. No hay honor más grande que ser un charolastra.
2. Cada quien puede hacer de su culo un papalote.
3. Pop mata la poesía.
4. Un “toque” al día… la llave de la alegría.
5. No te tirarás a la vieja de otro charolastra.
6. Puto el que le vaya al América.
7. Que muera la moral y que viva la chaqueta.
8. Prohibido casarse con una virgen.
9. Puto el que le vaya al América (se repite, por que es reputo el que le va al América).
10. La “neta” es chida pero inalcanzable.

miércoles 22 de abril de 2009

She was



She was so beautiful specially that night...
She just wanted to escape, out of that nightmare, that thing call life…
U could listen to her screaming...scratching the walls, making her nails peel off.
Her shiny eyes…shinning…u could see the white demons reflection on her tears...
Entwined in two different worlds of people she loved...
Not knowing who she could turn to, everyone's at war...
She recieved the bullets...
She tried to shoot back, but the bullets keep coming back at her...
Her delicate white dress is tainted red. why so?
Blood coming out of her pores...she feels no pain, sadness instead.
Agony…desperation…confusión…hate…love.
She wanted to be gone…

martes 24 de marzo de 2009


Ella...
Siempre sera un recuerdo borroso, todos dicen que la recordaran pero poco a poco la olvidaran...
Olvidaran el color de sus ojos, su voz, su vestimenta, su caminar y al final su nombre no sera mas...
Ella...
Siempre fue su sombra, la amiga de...la novia de...la chica que...
Nunca fue importante, nunca fue tomada en cuenta...
Ella era un cero a la izquierda...
Como se sentira desvanecerse en el recuerdo?
Dejar de ser...
Todos la miraban, pero nadie nunca la vio.

Bluring thoughts in my head.



Pretending...
Smiling making sure the world doesnt suspect things arent great...
Knotting my head when someone makes a joke...
Running to the bathroom when the tears are coming out...
Making sure no one knows we dont work anymore...
Why dont u let me go?
Why dont u wanna fix it?
How can u fix something that has been broken for such a long time...
How can u fix me, so i dont cry anymore...?
How can u fix me, so i dont feel like shit ever again...?
U excuse urself for ur behaviors...
How many excuses u think i can take?
How many excuses u can pretend?